MAKING THE CASE FOR 'THE STARLOST'

The small Chicago suburb where I grew up had an independent station that played some obscure television from England, Japan and Canada. That meant at a young age, especially during summer break, I got to watch a lot of Benny Hill, Johnny Sokko And His Flying Robot and The Starlost. You probably know the first two, but what’s The Starlost? Well, it wasn’t an action packed Canadian sci-fi show by any means, but the look and the emotions of the series made it a must see for me, even if I had already seen the episode 20 times (repeats were constant on this channel). If you have seen The Starlost it was probably in movie form in the late 1980s when the series had the same thing done to it’s episodes as the Planet Of The Apes TV show did. Myself, I missed the show for 30 years until it finally came out on DVD and I got to relive all those childhood memories. Not only did the series seem as great as it was when I was young, but since I understood the plotline better it convinced me that it was one of the greatest sci-fi series ever made and certainly the most under appreciated.
The setup is somewhat simple, but also quite brilliant. The Earth is doomed so 3 million people get aboard the Earthship Ark to colonize a new world. An accident occurs and knocks the ship off course. This was hundreds of years ago and the people living in the biospheres have long forgotten what the original mission was anyway. They all just live their lives, but like the Earthlings they left behind they too are doomed because the accident steered the ship into a collision with a giant sun. We’re not sure when this will happen, but according to the computers it definitely WILL happen. Introduce Keir Dullea, Robin Ward and Gay Rowan. Three twenty somethings who leave behind their Amish like community to dare to journey out of the biosphere and into certain death. They end up finding out what is wrong with the ship, but being agrarians they need to seek out someone who can help. This is when they begin their journey into other biospheres and all throughout this gigantic spaceship. This premise could have gone on for years in a serial like format, but it was not to be. Critics called the show slow and boring. Granted it’s not full of endless explosions or lightsaber duels, but it is a voyage of discovery. What, do you expect these Amish people to suddenly figure out 28th century science? They do figure things out and action does take place, but it all takes time. The show was really building towards something. Like many sci-fi series the show also had a good liberal attitude. Shunning the religious beliefs of their mothers and fathers and realizing there is more to life than praising some invisible entity. They also tackle subjects such as pollution and Fascism. This was serious stuff and making it more of an action based series would have diminished this.
Now let’s talk fun, let’s talk budget. The budget was miniscule especially once writer Harlan Ellison dropped out, but they did their best. Just use lots of sturdy cardboard, a ton of different colored lights, loads of green foam and plenty of lucite and you’ve got a spaceship of our future. The blue screen is charming in it’s infancy. Granted it doesn’t look amazing, but it’s not like I think all that computerized bullcrap in ‘The Avengers’ movie is real either. Because of the effects and the moderate pacing I’ve read some reviews actually calling this the worst science fiction series of all-time! Of course on those same lists you will also see Space 1999, Lost In Space and Buck Rogers so it shows what those critics know. Luckily these days The Starlost is more appreciated and rated well above average by those who have seen it on DVD. There has even been talk of a Starlost remake either as a movie or a television show. God, I hope not, I would rather just enjoy the original, the classic, The Starlost…

*if you have any interest or ideas on a TV, internet or radio project, email me allnewsux (at) gmail.com

ATARI 2600 THE KING OF RETRO GAMING

For most of us in the gaming world, this was our first home gaming console. Yes, I know for a fact that a few far less successful home gaming devices existed before the old Atari 2600, but this is the machine that would change everything! When the 2600 came out, my friends and I couldn't believe what we were playing. Our parents couldn't believe what their children were doing with their television with the furry speakers and many times they wanted to join in. The Atari actually brought families together. When you went to the arcade, you didn't want your mom or dad to go with you, you just wanted them for the car ride over there. But with the Atari 2600, you actually wanted to see if you could beat your dad at Basketball or if mom could keep up with your Tron Deadly Discs skills. The Atari was so huge that it crossed over into our comic books and our Saturday morning cartoons. Of course the corporations couldn't be left out of this and that's when the market started getting a bit goofy with games like Kool Aid Man and Chase The Chuck Wagon, a game that was based on a dog food mascot. Eventually this and other unoriginal, uninspired games killed the once glorious market, but the Atari would have many sequels long before the 17th version of Playstation was thought of. Close to 1000 games were made for the original Atari 2600 and we haven't seen a creative phenomena like this ever since. This all happened during a time when making games was much more difficult and game developers actually had to figure out ways to turn square pixels into balls or boulders. In turn, most of the games were quite difficult. Many of them were never ending, you were just going for a high score, but some of the adventure or puzzle games that had a conclusion took ages to finish. Many of these games would be forerunners of all the RPG video games we know and love. The Atari 2600 wasn't just some machine...for us who grew up with it, it was magic. We could play our favorite arcade games without even leaving our living room. We could not only see comic book heroes and Star Wars plot lines coming to life on our small screen, but we could actually be Superman or Luke Skywalker! Overall, I’m a gamer and I have enjoyed most home gaming systems at least up to the original Playstation, but no other console has such a special place in my heart as the Atari 2600 and here are some of my favorite games that I loved in 1983 and actually am still enjoying to this very day...

Honorable Mentions That Almost Made The List:
Wizard Of Wor
Adventure
No Escape
Mountain King
Venture

5. Swordquest Earthworld

Up to the point of the release of Swordquest I had never played a game as complex and challenging as this. Well, actually I take that back, I had, but it was Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and it was done with scraps of notebook paper and 20 sided dice. Granted this game wasn't exactly full of Red Dragons or Owlbears, but I could tell it was in that same vein. Swordquest had an accompanying comic book and this comic held the final clues to solve the mystery that was Swordquest Earthworld. To bring home my point on how difficult retro gaming could be, hundreds of thousands of people bought this game, but only 8 people managed to complete the puzzle. Overall, the entire Swordquest series is a blast and I really wish we had seen it come to it's conclusion with the never finished Airworld.

4. Spider-Man

Oh man, the fun my friends and I had seeing who could get Spider-Man to fall the farthest. Seeing Spidey go 'splat' was strange at first, but soon became hilarious! The plot was simple enough, you just have to stop the Green Goblin and defuse all his bombs and super bombs. The difficulty on this simplistic theme got really hard, really fast. If you were lucky enough to sneak past Green Goblin's thugs in the building windows, all the bombs and the goblin himself 3 times, it probably wasn't going to happen a fourth time. Nonetheless we played for hours on end seeing who could capture the most bad guys, who could get the most points or the aforementioned who could make our hero hit the concrete the hardest.

3. Pitfall

4 million of us gamers bought this game making it the second best selling game in Atari history! Seems strange for a game that technically only lasts 20 minutes, but it was a step in development above many games. Activision gave us scroller games which would become the basis for 90% of games for the first Nintendo system. This was unlike most other Atari or Intellivision games whereas each screen you went into was different. You weren't stuck in one area, you could endlessly go back and forth and explore 256 different screens...heck you could even go backwards right from the very beginning of the game. Can you believe all these screens along with crocodiles, scorpions, tar pits and Pitfall Harry himself had to be created using only 50 bites of code? Game developers had to be very creative to get the most bang for their byte and the success of this game even gave Harry a cartoon just like Pac-Man had.

2. Tunnel Runner

When I saw this 3D game for the Atari I lost my mind! How in the world was this done although today I'm more likely to ask how was this done with only 256 bytes of RAM? This is really the only 3D adventure game I remember playing for Atari, but perhaps that's because I played it so damn much! This game was so cool to me that 75% of the games I would play on my next console, the Commodore 64 would look like this. Think Bard's Tale II or Curse Of The Azure Bonds. Gameplay itself was terrific because it was like being in a horror movie. You were trapped in a maze and you had to find the key and get out. Killer creatures called Zots were hunting you down and just like a Jaws or Creature From The Black Lagoon films, the music would get more intense as the Zot grew closer to having you as a meal...video game making at it's finest!!!

1. Real Sports Volleyball

These days I absolutely loathe sports, but back in my younger days I loved baseball, football, soccer and volleyball. Volleyball was actually a sport that I was so good at that I often wondered if I could have a career playing with the likes of Sinjin Smith or Karch Kiraly. Perhaps what started me on my volleyball interest though was this game. The Real Sports games weren't like the previous sports games for the Atari. Home Run and Football couldn't hold a candle to Real Sports Baseball or Real Sports Football! This volleyball game was no different. Sure your beach volleyball team mates were stuck together, but that didn't stop you from doing a bump, set, spike routine correctly as long as you had a feather touch on the joystick. You had tournaments with your friends and against the computer and wrote down your results on paper and you thought it was the greatest thing in the world! The Real Sports people put so much effort into developing games that you can even see the sun go down over the horizon and if you wait long enough a shark passes rather close to your game...now that's fun gaming!!!

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000...THE GREATEST SHOW EVER?

This page represents some of my all-time favorite episodes of the classic series affectionately known to us fans simply as MST3K. There really aren't any "bad" episodes per se, but I think after season 1 we did see a drastic improvement in the chemistry of the main characters and there were also more obscure and adult oriented jokes instead of just guys making noise in a theater. I guess MST3K would have it's roots in classic Creature Feature shows. Typically they'd play something like The Mummy's Ghost or Tarantula and the host would typically make some quips about the film or they'd point out some humorous scenes to look for. Regardless of being a continuation of the old Creature Features, I'd still call MST3K one of the most original shows ever created! What outsiders of the series probably don't know is that there is an occasional argument regarding who is a better host, Joel or Mike. I do think that as the series progressed they would really start to hit their stride, but overall I'd simply say it was the combo of Mike Nelson as the head writer and Joel Hodgson as the main creator that made this series so perfect throughout it's entire 11 season run. Even when Joel hosted, Mike was always in the background as some minor character and when Joel decided to move on it was a natural transition even if at first I absolutely hated the change. Everyone involved with this series added something special to it as they are all ridiculously intelligent, creative and most importantly funny people. The only negative thing I can say about the show is it sometimes causes really entertaining movies to get lower ratings due to the film's inclusion in the series. However, if not for MST3K, I'd probably never have realized how great Space Mutiny or Beginning Of The End really was. This series did start in the late 80s and it is technically still going strong to this day. Not only on services like Netflix, but also in the equally funny Rifftrax which includes most of the primary players from Mystery Science Theater. There are also dozens, if not hundreds of far less funny knockoffs. Thanks to these guys and gals, people will be riffing on new movies and old movies for as long as cinema exists.

Honorable Mentions That Almost Made The List:

Manos The Hands Of Fate (1966)

The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)

Warrior Of The Lost World (1983)

The Final Sacrifice (1990)

Werewolf (1996)

5. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living 

    And Became Mixed Up Zombies (1964)

"That folk singer sounds like he's skinning a cat"

A nice simple title, easy to remember. Ray Dennis Steckler had some weird ideas about horror movies. We have seen dancing, singing and monsters combined before, but not to this absurd degree. I don't necessarily have a problem with singing and dancing, but here all the dancers and the singers are awful especially the folk music guy (Don Snyder). I mean who the Hell would come to an amusement park to see terrible dancing? At the film's end the “zombies” actually look pretty cool, too bad the film didn’t revolve around them. The jokes fly hard and fast in this one, but considering the subject matter I think we could all do a good job riffing this one.

4. Mitchell (1975)

"I hope that Dynasty show calls back soon"

Joel's final episode has him going out with a bang! Overall the cast in Mitchell is good, but the production value is piss poor. Joe Don just doesn’t fit as a male lead although he does try his best. Rumor has it than Joe Don Baker actually got angry over this episode and threatened to beat the Hell out of the MST3K gang. Many other directors and actors considered being lampooned on this series to be an honor. The jokes are all over the place and I'd recommend this one as a perfect first episode to watch for anyone who wants to know what MST3K is all about.

3. Future War (1997)

"Get your stinking paws off me you damn, dirty human"

Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Burroughs. It only took 2 years for Future War to go from video release to the MST3K big screen. Let's look at a few decent aspects of the film. The action scenes are decent, but they are also poorly edited. The acting by female lead Travis Brooks Stewart is actually pretty good and I'm surprised she didn't go on to bigger and better things because the male lead actually went onto a Matrix sequel. The dinosaurs don’t look too bad, but the fact that you simply find them near water is stupid. Are we to believe this runoff tunnel is the only source of water in Los Angeles? Let's face it, the overall story is unoriginal and uninspired, the film doesn't appear to be taking place in any kind of future and I agree with Mike and the bots, what the Hell is with all the boxes?

2. Hobgoblins (1988)

"Hey, Hobgoblins four hours in"

My guess is this Gremlins ripoff would appear on everyone’s best of MST3K list, goofy cinema at it’s best! Yes, the creatures are hand puppets, but this is supposed to be more of a comedy than horror or sci-fi flick. One question does persist with the viewers and the Satellite Of Love crew though. Why is that vault that stores these dangerous creatures never even locked? Do you realize that if the vault was simply kept locked by the security guard who claims he's looking after them, the film would be 5 minutes long? Everyone turns in a poor performance and the male lead endlessly whines while the rest of the cast will just annoy the Hell out of you, but yet we do get Duane Whitaker, the pawn shop owner from Pulp Fiction, in a small role. Rick Sloane better known for Vice Academy and other films you’d find on Cinemax in the 90s actually sent in this film himself. Ever since the first time I watched this episode I have been trying to purchase an original Hobgoblin from the film to no avail...

1. Space Mutiny (1988)

"The greatest bar scene since Casablanca"

I have watched this episode over 150 times and have to say it's still funny every time, even the lines I have memorized which is most. One of the most popular jokes in MST3K history are the few dozen names given to our muscle bound lead. Blast Hardcheese, Gristle McThornbody, etc. I own a regular copy of the film as well and it's not bad at all. The stolen Battlestar Galactica effects look great, Reb Brown is good in everything he does as are most of the other main actors. In fact I would call John Phillip Law one of the best movie villains of all-time! Granted we can see that Space Mutiny is clearly filmed in a bright, sun lit warehouse, but director David Winters brings in loads of light to every scene so the ship does look somewhat streamlined. It just so happens that a lot of the action and the actual mutiny take place within the rusty hull of this old ship. Despite a dead woman coming back to life to continue to work her computer station and a few other editing mistakes I really like this movie. I also like the endless jokes from the gang about the movie...I mean this episode is from the same guys who riffed on The Empire Strikes Back. Humor can be found from the worst film to the best...this is all fantasy folks and fantasy should always be fun!!!

COMIC BOOKS I FONDLY REMEMBER

Comic books have played a big part in my life for the last 30+ years and I am rekindling my interest for them as of late. Maybe this is due in part to the recent releases of many comic book based TV shows of my childhood finally coming to DVD. Whatever the reason, I started thinking of my pleasant comic book memories and listing them. However, as I was making this list I realized that I didn’t actually own any of these books anymore, so I went ahead and ordered every single one of them online…seriously, they should be arriving any day now. I’ve always considered myself a “nerd” due in part to my love for comic books, but whether you’re 7 or 57 you should be proud of your love for any literature. My favorite has always been DC Comics and this list definitely reflects that. I do really enjoy Marvel’s main cast such as Spider-Man, the Hulk, et al. but I prefer the blend of cool obscure characters and eternal icons like Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman that DC has always had. Regardless, as comic book fans we don’t have to turn this into a fight. Whether you love DC, Marvel, Charlton or Dark Horse, us comic book fans all share a kinship and everyone of you could make a goofy list based on your childhood memories just like the one below. I encourage you to do so...we'll compare notes.

Honorable Mentions That Almost Made The List:                                  
Joker #3 (1978) DC Comics
Dr. Strange #3 (1974) Marvel Comics
Showcase #66 (1967) DC Comics
Vigilante #8 (1984) DC Comics
OMAC #2 (1974) DC Comics

"This is why man invented the electric blanket"

5. Power Man And Iron Fist #116 (1985) Marvel Comics
The power of yoga and mind control vs. the power of muscles. The boys are in Alaska freezing to death in a vault. Danny peacefully meditates to ignore imminent death while Luke struggles becoming delusional. Eventually Iron Fist has to knock Luke’s lights out and the book ends with a nice twist to the ending. This was actually part 2 of the storyline, but as a kid I never cared or noticed. It’s a great comic that shows corporate evil can’t triumph over human spirit.

"Usually Superman & Batman pump iron"

4. World’s Finest #169 (1967) DC Comics
There was a lonely old lady in my Illinois neighborhood who had us kids over her house whenever we wanted. I actually spotted this comic in her extra bedroom and she let me keep it. At the time, it was the oldest comic book I had ever laid my hands on. Yes the story was goofy. The scene on the front cover actually DOES happen inside the book for God’s sake and whenever Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite are involved there will be some hijinks. Batman and Superman lose their identity and power respectively, but I loved when the heroes had to struggle through tough situations. This one is certainly more for the kids, but I’ll still read it once a year because the memories associated with it.

"This is why Blue Beetle needs a Robin"

3. Blue Beetle #3 (1967) Charlton Comics
The time 2:30pm, the place an alley in Hub City. One of the most gorgeous comic book covers ever, I actually discovered this one in some superhero encyclopedia in my local library and started seeking it out. The Blue Beetle story is relatively short, but it is non-stop action. Blue Beetle really gets acrobatic while battling this crazy group of thieves and there’s fights on almost every page. There is also a great story featuring one of my favorite Charlton characters the Question in this issue. All these early Blue Beetle comics are worth getting.

"Pork is not welcome in this salad!"

2. Peter Porker The Spectacular Spider-Ham #6 (1986) Star Comics
In my early teen years I started falling in love with stuff like Captain Carrot and Peter Porker. The humor was much more high brow than previous funny books and these comics created a whole universe of fun characters. I was actually so obsessed with this one for awhile that I pitched a toy line based on this issue to a few companies! This story actually changes Peter’s origin. Initially he was a spider bit by a pig, but in this issue they claim he was always a pig which made more sense to me. The only thing that may have been smarter than Peter Porker was Ambush Bug…

"If only old comics were more colorful"

1. Detective Comics #241 (1957) DC Comics
For my money the greatest comic book cover ever drawn! I used to eyeball this one and wish I could afford it. The issue was 30 years old when I first saw it and I always wondered why the Hell Batman would need to wear different costumes. Turns out the reason is kind of stupid, but the idea is still very original and you gotta love the rainbow and the bulls eye costumes! If you look at it from a serious angle, it shows how much Batman cares for Robin and the lengths he will go through to protect their identities. There’s also a good Martian Manhunter story presented here. Overall, all the stories are simplistic, but that would certainly make them iconic for the times. The Brave And The Bold cartoon actually animated this brief Batman adventure.

MOVIES I'VE SEEN THE MOST

Although this list isn’t a really the perfect example of the obscure films I tend to prefer, these are all excellent movies that have provided me with hours of entertainment. I am typically more into B-movies, Grindhouse or MST3K fodder, but many of these movies were either quite popular or they were shown many times on TV, cable or satellite so of course I had more opportunities to see them than I would the wacky sci-fi and horror flicks I really love.

Honorable Mentions That Almost Made The List:                                  
The Invisible Agent (1942)
Krull (1983)
Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
Space Mutiny (1988)
Real Genius (1985)


5. The Dead Pit (1989)

(Some Argento influence in the colors?)

I used to rent this little zombie gem all the time from my local video store. They even had it in the box where the eyes actually glowed green. This film has a very attractive and quite talented lead actress…hard to believe she’s technically just a stunt woman. The zombies look amazing and the film has some genuinely scary parts. Scenes within the abandoned buildings and the pit itself are filmed brilliantly with a real classic horror style to them. Any fan of zombie cinema needs to see this!

4. 2001 A Space Odyssey (1968)

(Dave will go to infinity...and beyond)

My brother tends to always see me watching this film and he asks “don’t you ever get sick of this movie”? The answer is always NO. It’s an absolute masterpiece, just one classic image after another. Despite the constant changes and confusion you keep watching because it’s such a great story and you want to see it to it's conclusion. Literally every time I watch this film I discover something new that I missed in my last viewing. This should be viewed in high school classrooms across the country and honestly that may be where I first saw it. P.S. I’ve also seen 2010 The Year We Make Contact about 40 times.

3. Dead Poets Society (1989)

(I'll bet angels carried Robin through the Pearly Gates like this)

A story about angst and rebellion, but instead of getting in gang fights or putting on leather jackets these teens get together and read poetry. The whole cast is terrific and even the minor characters turn in good performances, but this is the Robin Williams show. This film not only influenced how teachers would be presented in film, television and literature, but it also affected the real world. I remember more than a few of my teachers who suddenly wanted to be John Keating and who can blame them? In light of Robin Williams’ recent death this is going to make this movie an even more emotional rollercoaster for me.

2. Quiz Show (1994)

(The TV show 21 made Jeopardy look like Wheel Of Fortune)

Other than the fact that it was ALWAYS on some cable channel I can’t give a singular reason as to why I’ve seen this one so damn much. Sure there are tons of things I like about it, but I’ve probably watched this film from start to finish 150 times! The film is based on a true story and Quiz Show takes you behind the scenes. John Turturro is great as always, but Rob Morrow and Ralph Fiennes are even better and they turn in performances of a lifetime. Learning the history of this scandal is fascinating, but we also get to see everything from broad national politics to the more intimate family moments. See this masterpiece, just try not to get addicted like I did.

1. Frankenstein (1910)

(Now that's a monster!!!)

How is this possible? How is some rare silent film the one I’ve seen more than any other? Well, one of my biggest loves in life is horror cinema. I’ve made every effort to watch and study the genre with this and the films of Georges Méliès. It excites me when other people are also interested in horror and I want to show this to them. I have also showed it to every friend, every family member because I want people to have a different understanding of this iconic monster. The fact that not only is it public domain, but also only 12 minutes long has allowed me to see it many times from many sources. I now own an actual copy of this on DVD, but I believe the first place I ever saw it was on TCM. Once YouTube came about, I was able to view this classic anytime I wanted…I suggest you do the same.