MAKING THE CASE FOR AFTER M*A*S*H

It has been said that M*A*S*H is being played on a television station somewhere in the world every second of every day. It is the most popular show in television history and almost without question the greatest and most important TV series ever made. However, the same can not be said for it’s successor. Well, I’ve been protesting that fact for over a decade now. After M*A*S*H is a very good, dare I say excellent series. It was nominated for Emmys and the first season finished number ten in the ratings. When you hear people talk about this show you’d think it was a total failure. Keep in mind that these people haven’t seen the series since the early 80s so they are simply combining their extremely vague recollection of the series combined with reviews from idiots like TV Guide who called After M*A*S*H one of the worst TV shows of all-time. Well, thanks to VHS bootlegs I’ve watched the entire series 3 times in the last few years so I’m here to tell you the truth about After M*A*S*H. The pilot episode may be one of the best episodes of the series. The pilot along with many season 1 episodes are on par quality wise with episodes of M*A*S*H. We see Potter, Klinger and Mulcahy come together at a veterans hospital in Missouri. Now this may be a far cry from what the fans would have liked to see (Hawkeye, BJ and Hot Lips is probably what most were hoping for), but these three are huge talents and although we were no longer at the 4077, we still got to see the trials and tribulations of some fine actors. Sure we get to see their home lives, but most of the action takes place at the VA hospital. After coming home from Korea the three main players soon learn that bureaucratic nonsense makes it just as hard to care for our soldiers in Missouri as it was in Korea. This is where the fun comes in though because Potter, Klinger and the padre have to scheme ways to do their jobs properly and the help the people who protected our country. The older vets also help to provide plenty of laughs. In fact I consider this show funnier than the final season of M*A*S*H which had to take on a more serious tone as they knew they were going to call it a day. I can not recommend the first season of this show highly enough to fans of the original series or the movie or simply to fans of comedic dramas. This is grade A stuff!
   Then came season 2. From the moment I saw the new intro I knew something was up. Suddenly we had a serious show with hints of comedy instead of a comedy with hints of drama. Outside of the main three guys from M*A*S*H we saw drastic changes in the cast. They replaced three secondary players including Potter’s wife for some reason. Also the series seems to shift gears to put 90% of the focus onto Klinger. Jamie Farr is great, but as long as you have Harry Morgan and William Christopher in your cast you might as well use them. Even an appearance from Colonel Flagg can’t save this season which I’d call mediocre at best. Perhaps this is where some of the low opinions of the show come from since these episodes would have been the last ones seen by viewers of the short lived series. I do believe though that the series would have easily coasted through a few more seasons had CBS in their infinite wisdom not moved After M*A*S*H to go up against the A-Team which absolutely slaughtered this dramedy in the ratings.
    Overall, despite the inferiority of the second season, I’d recommend you to seek out the entire series. If more people became fans of the show perhaps we could get it released on DVD instead of having to rely on the poor, low grade VHS rips that can occasionally be found on the web. In this day and age with books, music and movies on demand I don’t understand why all shows from our past can’t be offered on DVD, Blu-Ray or digital downloads. Many TV shows and movies are referred to as “cult” because of their obscurity, but why not at least offer these forgotten classics to the consumer so our television past doesn’t disappear from our collective memories? I mean After M*A*S*H may not be equivalent to what a 12th season of M*A*S*H could have been, but it is nonetheless a short lived extension of America’s favorite series and deserves another look…

MY FAVORITE ZOMBIE MOVIES OF ALL-TIME

Okay, I am a zombie fan. A fanatic if that sounds more hardcore. Although I’ve never counted, I believe I have seen around 200 zombie films give or take and many of them I have watched dozens of times. I love the entire world of zombie cinema from the United States to Mexico to France to Spain to Italy. My obsession started sometime in the 80s when cable gave us some variety. Romero’s bleak films could be seen on TV right along side the ultra fun Mantan Moreland zombie films. I’m pretty certain that like many of you my first zombie movie was 1968’s Night Of The Living Dead. I was a child, but even as an adult this movie is scary and depressing as Hell. Any nightmares I have about zombies are from this film and this film only. As I continued discovering more and more zombie movies from Return Of The Living Dead to The Beyond to Revolt Of The Zombies, I realized that zombie movies weren’t all trying to be frightening. They could also be humorous, gory or even more boring than buying socks. However these days, I’m almost ashamed to admit to someone that I’m a lover of zombies. I never cared to “run with the crowd” or go along with the latest fad. This boom in zombie culture over the past decade has made me less interested in telling people I’m a zombie fan even though my love for the genre still remains. Say “I’m a zombie fan” these days and the person will immediately start talking about The Walking Dead, a show which I consider one of the most boring things ever put on television. It has nothing to do with the fast paced 80s zombie movies that I love or the more surreal European takes on zombie cinema. Films today about the living dead also disappoint. Oh sure occasionally a good one like Outpost, Død Snø or Flight Of The Living Dead will sneak through, but mostly it’s stupid, unoriginal scripts with bad actors, worse directing and loads of that CGI blood. Zombies are so damn popular today that this year’s Denver Zombie Crawl attracted around 25,000 people! Of course because of this sudden surge I also realize that everyone and their mother has made a list of their favorite zombie films. I’ve seen a few good ones, mostly in the many books I own on the genre, but most lists play it very safe or they get confused as to what film is “best” and which is their “favorite”. These movies are simply my favorite. They are all good and worth a watch, but I would not refer to them as the best. If I had to make a list of the best zombie flicks I’d start with George Romero’s first 3 Dead films. The movies represented here for the most part are a must see for us fans of the genre, but people who only know The Walking Dead TV series will probably be very confused by what zombies used to be. These aren’t particularly important films, they’re just a blast to watch. If I’m being honest, Bela Lugosi’s White Zombie is probably more important than every film in my top 5 put together. If you’re taking the time to read this however, you should have already seen that masterpiece before and it‘s time to move on to some lesser known goodies. Hopefully now you can seek out 1 or 2 of the forgotten treasures that are my favorite zombie movies of all-time…

Honorable Mentions That Almost Made The List:
King Of The Zombies (1941)
Revenge Of The Living Dead Girls (1987)
Zombie (1979)
The Living Dead At Manchester Morgue (1974)
Day Of The Dead (1985)

5. Return Of The Living Dead II (1988)

I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry I consider the original ROTLD one of the best zombie films ever, I just have fonder memories of this sequel. The beginning is what hooked me from the start as it appears to be an homage to the classic Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman. As much fun as the first film was, this one added even more humor. This was one of the zombie movies that was played on pay cable endlessly and I watched it as often as I could. I like the cast, but most importantly I love the zombies and the make up effects. 

4. The Dead Pit (1989)

Unlike the aforementioned mentioned movie, this one was never on any cable station I watched. However it was one of the best VHS boxes in my local video store so I rented it the moment I saw it. After 100+ rentals of The Dead Pit, VHS was dead and the store closed soon after. Despite that somewhat grim ending I have nothing but fond memories of this gem. Cheryl Lawson the lead actress was technically a stunt woman, but I thought she did a great job and having an immaculate body doesn’t hurt her appeal whether in 1989 or today. The scenes with the evil doctor are quite cold and unnerving and the scenes with the zombies are frightening and relentless…a great combination.

3. Grapes Of Death (1978)

A French horror film from surreal, atmospheric director Jean Rollin that you may know by it’s proper French title Les Raisins De La Mort. This film very much feels like a Blind Dead film and if you know zombie cinema that is a high compliment. Elements of Romero’s The Crazies is also obvious, but nonetheless I consider this a very original piece of cinema. The French actresses such as Marie-Georges Pascal and Brigitte Lahaie steal the show, but luckily the sickly, insane villagers are terrifying adversaries. Technically this would be classified as an infection film, but like most movies in that genre it plays out almost exactly like your traditional zombie story.

2. Shock Waves (1977)

Directed by Ken Wiederhorn who happens to be the same guy who did ROTLD II…this guy knows zombie cinema in my book! I had serious conflict on whether to put this masterpiece at #1 or #2. Without question the scenes with the zombies under the water and coming out of the water are the greatest scenes of the living dead ever filmed. I still have no idea how they did these underwater effects. The Nazi zombies are also possibly the most heartless killing machines from any film in the genre. They revel in the pain of others and their blank expressions make them horrifying even in broad daylight. They probably couldn’t afford the best lights so the majority of this horror movie is uncharacteristically filmed in the day on a tropical island. Wiederhorn probably didn’t realize it at the time, but this makes it feel like a horror movie unlike any other you’ve seen.

1. The Dead Next Door (1989)

It took years for director JR Bookwalter to get this film released. He had some help from Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell and thankfully this thing finally saw the light of day. Bookwalter is clearly influenced by Evil Dead and Day Of The Dead and who can blame him but no, this film is nowhere near the quality of those movies. The acting from 90% of the actors is sub par and the special effects are a far cry from Tom Savini (one of many horror legends who share the names of the characters in the film). However this is so damn good because it’s one of those zombie films that you just put on when you and your friends are getting stoned or drunk. It is enjoyable in part because of it’s flaws, but even more so for it’s endless action. The Zombie Squads have to continuously battle zombies and religious cult members. Lead actors are there one minute and dead the next…no one is safe. I often refer to this film as the zombie Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This is how local non-Hollywood horror projects should be done. If you are considering making a movie for the first time you should consider The Dead Next Door as your required viewing.

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